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If there is one thing I know, it's that when I was just a kid, I liked Woody Woodpecker. He loved his surreal jokes and even some criticism in some episodes. Of course, at that time there was no such freshness that we now call "Politically Correct." The songs, the soundtrack, the characters, everything was memorable. Now, it looks like Universal Pictures wants to make an annoying bird movie made "especially" for Brazilians! How wonderful! Now we'll have a movie of him that's... Pure junk.
Universal's move to this film is very clear, and has already been made in similar animated films. Launch the movie in a particular country and expect it to succeed, which most often goes awry. Top Cat to say so. But it's no longer the United States, Japan or Mexico that they want to get money from the fans: It's Brazil, a country where most people swallow all the garbage that a group of broadcasters put on a television screen. And they still look cute. Obviously, companies use Brazil to launch films that have been a disaster abroad to make a success here.
And this movie made me want to vomit because of Sergio Stern's high voice. Oh, I guess my ears bleed after the movie ended and everyone left the movie theater where I was shocked, I mean, only very small children (something between 3 and 5 years old) talked cheerfully about this movie. I think that's why Cartoon Network created those reboots.
Okay, without further ado, let's look at this movie before the line limit ends.
First, the f****** opening. First Woody appears imitating Elliott of Open Season in his gait until he comes across his own opening and begins to laugh intensely, until one hour the screen simply "breaks." The effect of the screen crashing was so bad that I remembered the Windows 98 games that had better effects than that. That alone was enough for me to take my tablet and try to see some episode of Death Note in it, but for my bad luck, there were two children laughing out of nowhere with the film, which I did not understand because the parts had not yet arrived "funny" movie.
A guy named Lance Walters is in a kind of a boardroom made out of Pepinoon and he begins to mimic the Nostalgia Critic by talking about how he hates nature, and then begins an infernal talk about tree felling and of course, it hits so hard on the table that the ground seems to shudder. At that point I could not even hear Light Yagami and his plans to create a new world (and the rest you already know, if you ever saw the anime at all) because Lance Walters screamed like crazy because he did not like the forest. My ears exploded in this scene. Lance, of course, fired, and now the spirit of Mr. Bean/Dr. Robotnik dominates his body, creating a diabolical plan with laughter and everything a cliché villain needed: He's going to build a house in the forest! Wow, this is revolutionary! Completely original! Not even Pixar had thought of that! Of course Pixar had not thought of that, because the story of the film is so cliché that I need the hands and feet to tell how many movies have come with that same silly story.
I decided to stop just as Light's father dies to see the rest of this mess.
So Lance, aboard a trailer with his wife Vanessa, another cliché, and a son from another marriage to Emily Holmes, goes somewhere on the United States border with Canada, and, looking like a GTA San Andreas, drops a sign and passes a red light. When they finally arrive in that forest (which is an abandoned environmental reverse), Woody finally appears lying on his bed in the tree (which was well made, I admit) and then gets scared and comes across the scene of several trees being felled and then , creates a plan to try to stop tree felling, which is the right thing to do, and I even took pride in Woody until the middle of the film, when he accepts a sum of money to let the construction finish. Where was Alex Zamm's head ?! If it was not for that little boy, the movie would have ended like this. Then, near the end, the boy goes to a music competition, but Woody remains the same and stings his competitors.
This movie is filled with horrendous children's jokes and catastrophic animation. It's all so bad it looks like a telefilm, a movie directly on video and not something like a movie from Universal Pictures. Woody stretches for the scenery for some reason, his feathers seem distinct from the head, and many, many times he "leaves" the stage or gets over objects revealing the laziness of the animators for this film.
The story is lazy, clichéd and aggressively childish to the point that replacing Woody for Conker without his perversion and addiction to alcoholic beverages would make no difference at all. Not to mention that this was directed by Alex Zamm, that spoiled hundreds of great children's films with their lazy low-level "sequels."
Overly silly and childish, this film can not satisfy the desire of children (who, according to the directors, want COLORS and JOKE! NOBODY CARES FOR THE HISTORY! MUAHAHAHA!) And ends up being more rude and repetitive than My Little Pony and SpongeBob (seasons 5-8) together. If you are not from Latin America or South America but you know Woody Woodpecker and are very fond of your adventures, do not watch this movie, I beg you. Just watch if you're a 4-year-old with no taste that laughs at everything on TV.
Animation / Comedy / Family
Animation / Comedy / Family
The hyperactive red-headed bird enters a turf war with a big city lawyer wanting to tear down his home in an effort to build a house to flip.
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February 13, 2018 at 02:44 PM